Focus

Focus

Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Sickness

Preface: this post has turned into something more philosophical, or reflective, than I intended. If you're not in the mood, please enjoy some pics from the last month. Highlights include: Kinley's first photo of her smiling, overview of the action involved with being a sick family, which includes TV fun times (we've discovered, along with blue's clues, a show called yo-gabba-gabba. It's hilarious) turning sienna into a couch sweet potato, not paying $30 to ski (seriously, how can you justify charging a family $30 to park their car and Xc ski for, like, .5 hour. You kidding me? I refuse to do that), and more hide and seek.
In case you're curious what we've been reading lately:
http://seahawksdraftblog.com/
http://www.fieldgulls.com/
http://www.hawkblogger.com/
http://www.footballoutsiders.com/futures
It's hard to pull laura away from the TV now that free agent season is almost upon us.



So, like last year, this january and february are "get sick months." While I've managed to dodge the worst of it, laura, sienna and kinley have had a rotating head cold, chest cold, and diarrhea cold for almost two months now. It sucks. I love kids. Sick kids suck. At least when they're in your house. or worse, when they're waking up all night and making sure you commiserate with them. The worst part isn't the lack of sleep, though, but rather seeing your kiddos, who are so amazing, playful, cheerful, fun, turn into, umm, the opposite of that. Aside from knowing that they're suffering, it's also really hard to remind yourself that when your kids are sick, they aren't being themselves. Which means that just because they are acting like turds, doesn't mean they are turds. It doesn't mean your parenting is failing, it doesn't mean you need to rethink your approach. More importantly, it DOES mean that you need to be patient. More patient. No no, more patient than that.  I find myself snapping at sienna, and I never snap at people. Not since middle school. But I do with her, and I've begun to notice that she cares, and she feels disrespected when I snap at her ("Sienna! momma is talking!"  oh...oops.). I've found myself apologizing to sienna more and more in the past month. All of a sudden, it's not about whether or not your kid is being the kid you know they can be, but rather are you being the parent you want to be?
Hmmm, the problem with our parenting philosophy is that it's hard.

In other news, Kinley is rad. She's been as sick or sicker than the rest of us throughout this. She's had awesome green boogers and all, but she has been totally smiley and chipper throughout. I have never seen anyone, let alone a baby, be so happy despite feeling awful. One of the great reasons to be doctor is how humbling it is...to meet others who suffer everyday but find the strength to keep their chins up. It's inspiring. Instead of medical school, maybe I should've just had kinley earlier. woulda been a lot easier.

If you're looking for us, you know where to find us

it turns out, sienna loves TV. we gave ourselves permission to give her
permission to view some choice programming


like auntie patience, sorta

Sometimes when you're sick, your thoughts don't come super easily
We got visitors! 

Sienna's first skiing experience. She kicked butt, and had a great time.
we gotta get out again.  by the end she was starting to get the balance
involved in going downhill. Knees bent, leaning forward.
"Go fast Go fast gofaaaaast!"


Kinley is a big kid. Not scary big, just healthy big.
She is a full two pounds heavier than sienna was at this age.


Another addition to the Where's Sienna file.


In small group the other day, I was thinking about a conversation that laura and I had about this thing sienna does sometimes. You guys have probably seen the video of sienna playing hide and go seek. it's awesome, and can be found here and here. Aside from being really cute, it's also poignant if you take half a second to think about it (which we didn't until several weeks later). At first glance, you'd think that sienna doesn't get it. "You're playing it wrong." "Not like that." I said this, and so did everyone else. Because she's doing it wrong. But the thing is, sienna is a smart pickle. really smart. she gets it. Not much passes her by. So what's going on? I think she wants you to find her. Or rather, she wants you and her to find each other. What's worse than being separated from your parents, right?  There is a problem, dramatic tension, and she knows how to get out of it. If only dada weren't so dense and find her faster. Rather than seeing the game as an opportunity for gamesmanship, competition, and destroying your opponent, she sees it as an opportunity to work cooperatively and creatively to solve problems. She still plays hide and go seek this way. It's more fun. It's better than being alone.



What made me think of this? The other day, laura was at the library with the girls, and there was a brat of a girl there trying to take books from sienna. Apparently she was hitting sienna, and the other mother told her not to (but didn't follow up and was too busy gossiping to address the situation...hmmm). Laura had the reaction that I probably would have: Sienna, do something! While some parents may advocate that you hit back, I wouldn't. But, I would want sienna to say "stop," "quit it," or whatever, something to stick up for herself and make it hard for the girl to do it again. But instead, as laura is corralling her and wondering what to do, Sienna looks up  and says "it's okay mama, she's probably just having a hard day."
She gets it. Maybe one of these days I'll get it.