One small step

They're back!  thanks goodness.  It was getting lonely here, but they survived their adventures well.  More on that later though.  Right now, I'm trying to pick out which pictures to post.  Literally, in every single picture with cousin Yale in it he's crying, and as such, I'm trying to figure out which of them are the most hilarious.  I thought it was so funny that for Christa and Bryan's holiday card two years ago they picked a picture in which yale was grumpy and pouting.  I see now that perhaps that was unavoidable.  He has quite a camera presence. 
For now though, more sienna-time.

This movie, I'm particularly proud of.  The main reason is that we picked out the perfect background music for the occasion.  Thanks kate for the radio, and see how it is enriching the most important moments of our lives. If it were more epic we'd have an oscar.

Check out those thighs.  She's growing, all right.

In Defence of Crying

Laura and Sienna are in Montrose, leaving me to my devices here in the Bozone. I miss them. A lot. Regarding Sienna, I miss cuddling with her, I miss listening to her babble, I miss dancing with her. What I miss most, however, is her crying. This is, well, unexpected. I admit that before July 17, one of my biggest worries was whether or not we could get her to stop crying. Who wants a baby that screams all the time? It's bad for your blood pressure. Likewise, there's the unconscious assumption that if a baby cries, the parents must be doing something wrong. I don't want to do anything wrong, nor do I want to be surrounded by crying. So, there's a lot of pressure to do whatever it takes to appease Sienna's cries.
Now, three months in, I'm calling bullshit on that one. Granted, a kid can't learn if she's crying constantly, but her crying isn't the same as my crying. In order to get me to cry constantly, it takes a lot (AT LEAST five minutes into "UP"), but not her. Sienna's cry is her voice, and all she's saying is "Let's do something about _____." At the biological level, if she's crying, it means she's okay. It's when she stops crying that we need to worry (babies that don't cry in the ER scare me). I hope that she keeps crying her whole life. Recognizing dissatisfaction is perhaps the most basic function of life. Without it, you die. Her cries mean she's alive, and I don't mean biologically, but spiritually. If you don't cry, it means that you think everything is hunky-dorey (sp?). And guess what, things aren't hunky-dory (sp?). At the macro-level, the world has problems, and we need more people calling foul on them. We need more people crying. Sienna's a happy little girl, content. But she knows when something is wrong. I hope that she doesn't lose this. Keep crying sweetie, we're listening. Let's work together to make things hunky-doeree (sp?).

More pictures when the girls get back. I guess sienna has started to do the assisted walk. What? That's not supposed to happen for months. Must be a phase. She's not rolling over like she used to, after all.


A poem, to the babe:


There once was a girl we named Squeek,
Who poops in her pants thrice a week.
We clean her up well,
To get out the smell,
Or else her small butt starts to reek!

Crunk Juice

Hmmmmm, what updates?  just more of the same trends.  smiling more, but also crying a lot more.  sick again, so that helps the cry factor.  grabbing a lot more.  our book says she's pre-teething, which explains the fussiness, drooling, constant oral fixation, etc.  Did I mention that she's sleeping in her own bed?  I don't remember.  Last week we introduced her to the crib, and actually she did great.  harder to put her down... maybe an extra half hour of comforting, but then she's out all night.  the odd feeding here and there, but generally laura's getting more sleep, as is she (daddy's not so much).  so that's great, not the epic process as we were expecting.  I suppose the main reason we made the switch was that laura didn't want to go to bed at seven anymore (since we didn't want sienna alone in the bed).  I told her she was being selfish, and she told me to bugger off, and I told her to shove it, and she dared me to say that one more time.  I didn't.  So sienna's doing great.  harder for me to calm her down in ways that buy time (you know, "i wanna finish this movie but she's crying, so if I can bounce her for ten minutes then I'll get to see the good guys vanquish the alien-demons."  instead, i just don't get to watch the good guys vanquish the alien-demons).
here are some cute pictures:

This little number Maude knit out of bamboo.
It's sienna's favorite, and ours.  Unfortunately, momma
tried to fit her arms through the sleeves and ripped it.
just kidding maude, thank  you!

No, this isn't her halloween costume, but it could be.
we were having lamb for dinner that night and
thought we'd dress her up for the occasion.
doesn't she look delicious?

 Introducing, Ninja Baby:
"Is this how you pictured your death?
Well is it?"

Intimacy

Before having a baby, people mention all kinds of things to you.  "It'll change your life forever." "You never knew you could love someone this much." "Don't let her take advantage of you." "Stick to your guns." "Wonderful!" "On purpose?"  "Better you than me." etc. There are as many different parenting experiences as there are people, and advice or stories are often helpful but they need to be tailored to your individual situation.  No piece of advice is groundless, nor is any completely applicable.  We're on our own, while at the same time we're only doing what billions of people have done before us. 

But no one ever said anything about intimacy.  In my own life, there were different levels of intimacy with the different people in my life, though I never would describe my relationships as such until I was older and they became romantic.  What a new world it was, being so vulnerable and yet so comfortable with another human.  But what I knew as intimate was often informed by some sort of sexuality, and the two were interconnected.  When sienna was born, and in the months since, I have had to redefine what it means to be intimate.  On the one hand, I feel the same vulnerability as she teaches me of my weaknesses, and so too do I enter a space in which secrets don't exist.  On the other hand, however, sexuality absent.  Completely absent.  It's something different, and it almost feels more pure.  There's no pretense, no path.  It's like those rare instances in which you can float on your back in warm water, staring up at the stars alone.  In those moments, there is nothing else.  Time and space become irrelevent because they are no longer bolstered by intention or history.  I am treated to these treasures throughout the day with Sienna, and such a connection is both unexpected and magical.  They plant seeds in me, a kind of a faith or hope.  Surely, as time progresses, this intimacy will be lost, and I will look back longingly at the times we had together.  I know that they will never come again, just as I know now that she will remember nothing of them.  I can't help but feel sadness.  If only we remembered...
Early on in laura's pregnancy I realized that we, as someone's child, have no concept for how much our parents love us.  It doesn't matter how much you love them, because it'll never approach what they feel for you. Ever.  Things come into focus, then.

We love you sweety, though you'll never know how much.  I just hope you can someday love as we do.

Play Date

Friends of ours from Books and Babies at the library have a daughter, Luka.  She was born in May, though is still a bit larger than most nine month olds.  In fact, she started to bully me and I caved by giving her my lunch money.  She's hilarious, and loves to lick things with her big tongue. Though she was gracious and cleaned all of our toys for us, we went ahead and washed them again to be sure. I used to guide with her father on rainier, and if you knew him you'd be able to tell exactly who i'm talking about by looking at Luka.  A very striking family.  This was Sienna's first play-date.  She had fun, though I think primarily because she got mommy-daddy time.  they both seemed rather uninterested in each other. also note sienna's cute outfit.  a lady at the coop pulled us aside saying that we had to enjoy dressing her up while we could- it was one of life's most precious gifts.

toys, toys, everywhere!  Sienna is only now taking
a mild interest in toys. but still, not really.  Here,
she shows off her dainty hand bag, a can lid.



On the right, you can see the elephant that amelia hand-knit sienna.
how awesome is that?

And this was hilarious.  Though admittedly, laura found it way funnier then sienna, and a little more amusing than luka.  We did the the flying sheep routine for a solid 20 minutes before i had to go to class.

Like Mother...

Too Damn Cute.

Ultra-Cute Hiccup-Face

So, if you haven't seen a baby hiccup, you gotta check it out.  it's awesome!  Note that she is surprised/amused/bewildered/comforted by them.  That's what I like best.

Also, I forgot this little tidbit from lolly n brad's wedding.  So the speakers were a little loud for sienna's little ears, so the three of us went outside the courtyard area to dance in the grass (which as many of you know, we probably would have done anyway given that we each require 25 square yards of dance floor space to adequately bust a move).  It was in view of the maine area, and after a few songs, it was reported to us that somone had said, "man, I don't know if they were invited or not, but they sure can bust a move."  We decided that if we lived in denver, we would go to chatfield every saturday and crash the party.   Who can say no to a little pudding snack?  (that's sienna, not me)

CO-Dependent

Sienna enjoyed her second vacation, this one to CO.  Before heading down, she got her shots, with which she did very well.  She screamed a bit, but that's probably because her daddy was crying so much and she doesn't like to see him upset. Recovery went well, though, and then we flew. Unfortunately, got sick while we were down there, maybe cuz of the airplane, or the shots.  Stuffy nose, coughing, squirty butt... but I'm fine now. 
We were wondering how she'd do on the airplane.  Going down, she was fine, but with her being sick she wasn't too psyched coming back up.  she had a slight fever so we gave her some tylenol, but that didn't seem to put her to sleep as everyone assured us it would. Instead, daddy got a very good workout bouncing her most of the ride (by the way, she's ten lbs now, and down to the 23rd percentile (from the 32nd at the last visit)).  I've never sweat so much on an airplane.  Also, momma held it together very well, putting aside her flying fears to set a good example for sienna. 

First we went up to see Karl from the guiding days, who seems very well (and burly.  Karl, where'd you get those guns. and that bad ass haircut). actually, very very well.  makes me happy. then we saw jon from bowdoin and o-land fame. he also seems very well (other than being unemployed and way over-qualified for any job).  he is our token bad-ass friend that paraglides.  we got to see him fly.


Hey Jon, hate to tell you but from below, you're chute DOES
look pink and purple, not red, blue and black.  Thus, no pictures of
flying (who's that in the pink suit?  He's good, but goofy lookin)

 then we climbed at boulder canyon:


Our first bolt-protected crack climb.  crazy.

 and finally we convinced jon to hold the baby.


Who started this, anyway?

 (by the way jon, erika is fantastic) And then the real soup du jour, we went and celebrated the joining together of Lolly (of Belize fame) and Brad.  we're so very happy for you two, and best of luck with everything!



Sorry guys, this was the best pic I got.  Apparently, Brad is far
sketchier than I ever realized, and lolly and alex are twitchy.  If you have
any better pics, send them my way.



Nice to see you alex, see you in december.  and congrats to you
and erik, who also joined together. sorry we missed it. you seem fantabulous.  Laura
also wanted me to mention that you look ripped. or cut.  whatever you
prefer

 We then went to visit the cousins chris and susannah, with their three tots.  turns out three is a lot more than one. Sorry we were so tired (we didn't get any pix), and thanks a million for the fine hosting.  This weekend, while exhausting, was a nice reminder of the important things in life.  many of these folks we hadn't seen in years, despite them being very important to us. love is lovely, as a wise man said. thanks for a great weekend.

In other news, sienna rolled over again, this time very deliberately, and she seemed to process her hands as being "her hands" for the first time.  she smiles like crazy, and really likes being home.  She doesn't really like being out of her routine, or more specifically, being on someone else's schedule.  not in an acute way, just a general unease.  see if that carries over to the future. hopefully we don't destroy any seed for a travel-bug (or is that a pupa?).

no, she's not a boy as everyone in the airport assumed.

Bree and the Baby Shower

Apparently we didn't have our stuff together enough to have a baby shower before sienna was born (well, except for the "don't call it a baby-shower" baby shower), so this last week while Bree was in town we went up to boulder.  Not only did we take a soak, but we also were graciously hosted by a number of fine folks from gramma dee and papa jim's churches in Butte.  We played a few games (I lost the suck milk from a bottle game. those little nipples are tiny! you can't get anything out of them.  kudos to babies that can.  I would starve), ate amazing food, and heard some great stories from the many grammas present.  We went around to say how old each person's oldest child was (to figure out how much wisdom is amassed between us all), and some were in the fifties and sixties, and one's grandkid was 31.  yikes, turns out they're a lot tougher than us, and a lot nicer (a million thanks for all the gifts and advice from everyone.  I don't know how we deserve your warm prayers. we feel quite humbled).  Dee mentioned that we birthed at home, and while some were interested, I think many in the room had done likewise (though, as we learned, not with nearly the medical support or knowledge we had).

At the baby shower.  we heard dee
was going floral, so sienna did likewise.



All our pictures were backlit, except this. Thanks mystery truck!
and perfect timing to catch the smilin babes.



So it turns out that babies float. Laura failed to mention this after
their last swimming session (didn't want to spoil the surprise).  For a while
I was pulling  her around,no support on the bum and not really any
on her head either. 
Needless to say, I am rather jealous.



Why did no one ever tell me that I had this much hair on my back.
C'mon guys, throw me a bone here.



The Leaf Season



The Foilage! Hard to tell, but these two trees really
were fantastic... yes, two trees you snobby mainers.
we take what we can get.



This has been social september for us.  Five visitors staying over and then five folks we visited in CO this last weekend.  I'm overjoyed that we have been able to see so many of our favorite people, but we are exhausted!  I just took a two hour nap, sienna and laura are still upstairs shnoozin (ended up bein an even four).  Of course, what do we do on our visits, but... stroll. and where do we go on our strolls... the cemetary.  especially since some of the only maples I know of are there, and they are in full regalia.



First off, this is kareen, one of our good friends

in bozeman.  she has entertained our strolls

and even gone to the outdor boulder with us:

kareen, you're a monkey, you need to climb more.

She also happens to be a petite woman that makes sienna

look very very large.



Here's the cemetary, with Bree and Marcus (overland and bowdoin folks)

great to see you guys and hear that you, too, were o-land rejects (or
more specifically, TC rejects)

Look at us, we're cute!



Hey dad, watch where you stick that finger.



Double-Duty

Who says you can't do homework and entertain a baby?  And... 100% on the quiz that day.  nice.

Tromping around wearing boots like gaston...

Now that she's doing the assisted stand,
we got her some hand-me-downs.



extreme close-up



side-ways, sorry.

Toilet Training

Given how my family loves to tease me about their fantastic failure to potty train me, we've started early with Sienna.  (I would like to say in my defense, that I was potty trained, and then KT came along so I unpotty-trained myself for attention (and hello, parental divorce), and realized that my plan was brilliant because soon I was given gummy bear incentives to re-potty-train.  If I went cold turkey, I would have not gotten those gummy bears, so I drew it out.  While some may chide that my actions were a sign of neandertal-like behavior, I'm pretty sure that it was a signal of my future brilliance (as evidenced by my ability to woo laura.  I used similar tactics of pooping in my pants, and it worked fantastically in convincing her to be my bride)).  Anyway, here's the picture.


She's become resistent to sink pees, but she's taken to the bucket
(inspired by memories of the yurt, perhaps).



Little privacy please.

This week we probably caught a dozen pees, and one poo.

More Smiling

Why take a picture, when you can take a video?  Not only have we documented a smile via stills, but also on the big screen.

And more...

still working on getting her coos in there.

Got It!!!

I'm a big girl daddy.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately.  Daddy is back in school full-time (and working in the ER), so it's been busy.  Working on med school applications, and about half way done with the secondarys. not bad, now wait for interviews.

Margot-Bear

Laura's high school friend (and friend to all the birds and beasts of this world) was driving across the country with a friend and stopped by for the night.  Margot seems great, and I hope we can go visit her in the very near future.  We shall see.  Good luck campin' (don't suck as much as we do), and good luck starting school up again.

Margot also had a shake shake wiggle wiggle
dance that Sienna  loved.

She's from Arkansas. Can you tell?
(Laura was comfortable in a tank-top here)

Squeek!

Doin' the Duck Dance

Hey Marcus and Kelly, thanks for the duck hat.  she loveloveloves it.

Sorry there haven't been more videos. All the videos I was taking were in HD, which don't upload well, so I kicked it down a few notches to make it work. Sorry it's sideways. I don't know how to fix that.


Other misc.:.

This might be the one for Bowdoin Magazine and Inside Lakeside

She's been smiling, but we can't seem to get it on camera.
Today she broke daddy's heart and, before he went to work, he
kissed her cheeks and she gave a big smile.  Aw Puddin'.

First Climb, at a Hot Boulder

Thanks Mike, because you make it all possible.  The three (four) of us took labor day and went to Bear Canyon.  No bear sightings, but we did find a canyon for our first outdoor climbing excursion.  It was, shall we say, all hands on deck.  One climber, one belayer, and one baby entertainer.  She did well, but didn't get many pictures because everyone was occupied.  Also, given that it was our first climbing since May, I for one got SOOORrE.  5.9 can really take it out of ya'. Mommy has gone running three times in the last two weeks, and daddy's been playing racquetball, but tit turns out we are only meager specimens of our past.

Watch out for that tree. Ouch!

Laura's batching sienna outfit. oh yeah, by the way, for those
that don't know that color orange is the color sienna, from whence
the baby was named.

Gettin' after it!

First Swim, at Boulder Hot Springs

While daddy was at work, mommy and baby went up to Boulder to go swimming.  Despite a jealous daddy, they had fun. They got her changed into a stunning bathing suit.  It's a good thing daddy wasn't there, otherwise he may have had to do some beat downs of all the oggling boys.  She liked the water (which was in the nineties somewhere), and seemed relaxed despite the approaching lightning storm and strong winds.  They went inside to dodge the storm, and she fell asleep so that when they went back out, she just slept through the second dunking.  fun stuff.

Fun!